Tourist Rule Numbers One and Two

Thinking about all the tourist in the "In the tubing Vang Vieng" shirts I mentioned in my last post reminded me of Tourist Rule Number One.

It's a really simple rule. Tourist Rule Number One states:

Don't wear souvenir clothing in the country you bought it in.

I don't know what possesses people to go out and buy a souvenir t-shirt and then put it on. If I see a foreigner walking down the street of Vientiane, their physical presence is enough to tell me that they have, and in fact are, in Laos. The Lao flag on their shirt is really quite unnecessary. Furthermore, it's just goddamned tacky.

Tourist Rule Number One naturally brings me to Tourist Rule Number Two. This states that:

Traveling to a poor country is not an excuse to look ridiculous.

It's a far too common sight to see backpackers in pajama pants that make them look like they escaped from some gaudy harem. I'm talking about brightly colored pants that billow out like sails and then taper drastically at the ankles. There's no doubt it's comfortable, but if you don't walk around wit a bed sheet rigged into "pants" at home, why do it abroad?

I wish I knew. The only explanation I can think of is that these people think that traveling means they're doing something special and gives them some right make a spectacle of themselves in public.

They might think they are dressing like locals since they bought their costumes at a market. I hope that's not the case; it's too easy to actually look at what people wear and find that citizens in every country in SE Asia dress with dignity. Even if the clothes aren't brand new, nearly all the men wear slacks and a shirt, and the women are in modest traditional skirts.

It's a real conundrum. As a foreigner abroad, you get noticed. Us westerners stick out, and I think it's important to try - at the very least - not to look like an idiot.