Last night after dinner with some Germans and Adam, we all stopped into a convenience store.
I didn't want anything, I was just looking at the pirated DVDs for sale when I saw this movie. I knew it was a winner just by the cover, the title, and the caliber of actor featured in badass reflective glasses.
I picked up the little sleeve and read the synopsis on the back. This is what it said:
"This is a lesson to all actors: pay your income taxes or you'll end up having to star in crap like this to get you out of the hole. Wesley Snipes is a disillusioned CIA assassin protecting a bad guy from badder guys. I don't know why. Three quarters of the film is a shootout in a hospital. Robert Davi spends most of his time having a heart attack, and Zoe Bell demonstrates why she's a stunt double. Except for the story, the dialog, the acting, the direction, the choreography, the special effects, the cinematography, the editing, the logic, and the music, it's not bad. Completely ignored everywhere but Japan."
It actually said all that. I was confused at first because it was so funny, and I couldn't even process it at first. I wish people wrote synopses like this more often. It's enough to enjoy without actually watching the movie. Thank god for media pirates with senses of humor.
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