Mongolian Rap

So Ethan is off trekking in Terelj National Park, and my explosive diarrhea has been downgraded to Scant (the unofficial hierarchy is Nuclear, Explosive, Violent, Aggravated, Uncomfortable, and Scant) . Being confined to a 5 meter radius from my porcelain throne for so many days, I've had plenty of time to read and do some creative writing. It started as a joking suggestion from Ethan in Russia, but I'm continuing my goal of writing a rap for each country I visit. The one below is for Mongolia, to the beat of Warren G's "Regulate" (original lyrics for comparison or follow along with the music video).

But first, some background vocabulary specific to Mongolia and gangstas (for those blog followers not traveling in those circles).
Ger: A circular tent like structure that nomadic Mongolians live in
A-Bomb: My most recognizable gangsta alias
E-Do(gg), E-Child: A few examples of Ethan's many gangsta aliases.

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{spoken}
Mongoliators.
We travel all around Mongolia,
Its damn beautiful too.
But you can't be any geek off the street,
Gotta be handy with the horses,
If you know what I mean, herd some sheep.
Mongoliators! Mount up!

{A-Bomb}
A dark green van; a white one too;
A-Bomb was on the steppes, checking out the views
Through an SLR, so I can get some shots
Up on Facebook, chillin' at those spots.

{E-Do}
In the southside breathing Gobi's fresh air,
On a mission trying to find a suitable ger.
I think I saw one; ain't no need for a flare.
Yeah, its confirmed; we'll head over there.

{A-Bomb}
So I unhooks my fish I caught in the river.
The sun was going down, so I said "Here's dinner."
I jumped on my ride and said "Giddy-up",
But the horse didn't budge, so I said "I'm stuck"

{E-Do}
Since these horses are feeding, I'ma glide off this mare.
Some goats are looking so hard, I'd call it a stare.
I think of better things than shaking my fist.
I see my homey screaming and yaks drinking his piss {actually happened}

{A-Bomb}
I'm getting h'rassed, I'm breaking down
Those yaks snuck up on me without making a sound.
They took my dignity, I stopped mid pee.
I looked at the yaks, said "Damn, why me?"

{E-Do}
They got my homey hemmed up and they all around.
Original lyrics make no sense here "pound for pound."
I gotta sneak up real quick before they start to clown.
I best pull out my whip and beat some yak ass down.

{A-Bomb}
I got pants at my knees
Think I'm going insane.
I can't believe this is happenin' in the vast plains.
If I had wings that would rock.
But I'm a practical man.
I glance in the field and I see my homey E-than.

{E-Do}
Sixteen inch whip and guitar on his back,
E-Do is about to start attacking a yak.
Now they mooing and running, it's a tad bit late.
E-Do and A-Bomb had to Mongoliate!

I let all those yakters flee, running down a dirt road.
Now I'm switching my mind back into guitar mode
If you want tunes sit back and listen
Cuz playing guitar is my primary mission.

{A-Bomb}
Now E-Do's got the rhythm with his traveling axe
Before I got attacked, I was on the same track.
Back up, back up, cuz its on,
A.D.A.M and he, the Than to the E.

{E-Do}
Just like we planned we came back to the city,
Ulaanbaatar, or just UBC.
The A-Bomb and the E-Child were in need of somewhere else
The Lonely Planet gave us a clue
I said to my friend "Yeah, that'll do."
At the ticket office we paid in cash,
The lady said back "You'll have a blast."
Soon we'll be on a train and it can't be finer.
The next stop is Beijing, China.

{A-Bomb}
I'm racing, into a whole new level.
M-Funk step on this soil, to travel.
Its fun, on the great wide plains.
{E-Do} The cars are the horses, and the horses have thick manes.

{A-Bomb}
Yaks,
Goats.
We rides,
Horses,
Camels.
Where riding is life
And life is riding.

{E-Do}
If you herd like I herd,
You don't wanna get chased by this.
It the G-Khan era,
Funked out with a Mongol twist.
If you trek like I trek,
Then you're trekking for about 15 days.
And if you're in East/Central Asia
603 will Mongoliate.